Dealing with Disappointment

Who's responsible for happiness? Is it your obligation as a parent to make your children happy? No, says veteran parent educator Crary in this thoughtful new book. And worse yet, if you put too much effort into preventing or reducing your child's dissatisfaction with homework, chores or other parts of our daily routine, your children do not develop the skills they need to handle frustration and disappointment. This practical, easy-to-read guide walks parents through the concept of emotional competency, which begins by teaching children to identify and acknowledge their feelings. Then it provides exercises and examples that demonstrate how children--even toddlers--can cope with their, emotions, using self-calming techniques (exercise or a few minutes with a favorite book, for example) and problem-solving tools. Parents who too often find themselves overwhelmed by frustrated children will appreciate the step-by-step recommendations. Crary's straightforward suggestions will help you survive emotional meltdowns--and think through how to prevent future problems. She also identifies how a parent's role changes as children grow and become better able to handle disappointments. Perhaps just as important, the author talks about how parents can keep themselves calm so they can recognize and manage both the causes and the results of children's frustration. A parent educator for more than three decades, Elizabeth Crary has written 32 books and dozens of articles on child guidance issues. Her landmark Without Spanking or Spoiling, published in 1979, continues to be a Parenting Press bestseller (see page 16), in part because it acknowledges that every family may have different needs and styles. It isthis commitment to helping families and teachers explore alternatives and select the options which work best for them that makes Crary's books, classes and speeches so well received. Early praise for Dealing with Disappointment: "Wonderfully valuable! A 'sanity saver' for