Messed up Mind

just how my heart beats, my mind constantly races with a trillion thoughts. sometimes it's wondering what i'm going to eat next. other times its coming up with elaborate conversations and then there's the jumbled thoughts.

our minds are the most powerful things we hold. they can be as pretty as a flower or as ugly as the dirt. they're also so intricate and complex.

they help us solve math problems and remember the joyful moments. but they also twist and turn every okay thing into something that's not even recognizable.

our minds can make us feel as though we're going to throw up, when we're not. they can make us think our friends don't like us, when they do. they're definitely a blessing and a curse.

even with repeating the words "it's fine" and "it'll be alright" our minds still race to the worst. they drown us with negative thoughts. we're constantly comparing ourselves to others. we tell ourselves that we aren't good enough.

but of course we never say what's really on our minds. we put up this facade that everything is all sunshine and rainbows.

but when was the last time you actually smiled? when was the last time you were proud of yourself?

i'm guessing it was when you were just a little kid with an innocent heart.

let's go back to the good old days when we smiled after every little accomplishment, when we felt less stressed, when we felt comfortable wearing whatever, when we laughed at silly things, and when all that was on our mind was "why is the moon always following me?"

but alas i know this is too much to ask. we've got so many things to balance. we've got school, family, friends, and hobbies. it's a game of Jenga. we're carefully placing blocks onto the tower of our life. we're hoping that the risks we took won't make our tower tumble and crumble into nothingness.